New York, NY — The Teten Family is proud to announce that we just finalized our investment in a seed-stage startup, temporarily operating under the name “NewBo” or “Peanut”. We are now looking for a dot-com domain name for our corporate website. We plan to announce the official name for the company at a brit milah Tuesday morning.
Currently, at 6 lbs. 8 oz., Newbo is a lean startup. However, our past similar investments have tripled their weight and other KPIs in just 12 months. We have aggressive growth expectations.
Teten Family has a bias towards women; all of our past investments have been in women-led companies. Nonetheless, this investment opportunity was so compelling that we were willing to overlook the CEO’s X chromosome deficiency and invest in our first-ever male CEO.
At a press conference, NewBo said, “I want to thank all the little people who helped make today’s great news possible. My mother literally carried this company for 38 weeks in her mobile incubator while I was generating no income. My big sisters have been talking with me since they first heard that Teten Family was doing initial due diligence on a potential investment. They’re all very eager to get hands-on involvement. Lastly, my father David provided the critical initial pre-seed funding.”
“The home stretch of getting this deal papered was laborious. Our doula, Heather Kaplan, and the team at Roosevelt Hospital Birthing Center were fantastic during the final protracted negotiations. My grandparents also provided invaluable emotional and operational support.