[edited version of the original]
Luba Prospectus
Specifications Ranked
By the Degree of Importance
to the Investment Bank for the
Given IPO – David Teten, Inc.
(Customized for you specifically to answer your demands for a potential retail investor)
Overarching theme: Economic rhetoric has invaded all spheres of human existance – oy vey.
I tried to organize information by characteristics and in the order in which they appeared in the section “For this Initial Public Offering, the investment bank is targeting a special retail investor.” of your prospectus.
*Warm – Constant attempts are made to replenish the stock and increase supply of true warmth and kindness, not to be confused with “giggliness” and “cheesiness.” As the investor estimates the nominal price of physical contact at its real value, hugs and kisses are distributed only to family members and special female parties.
*Well-educated in Jewish studies – It is best understood in the light of the investors’ personal history. I grew up in Minsk, Belarus. I first became intellectually and religiously curious about Judaism at the age of 15 after attending a YUSSR-run leadership training program in Israel in 1994. Upon return to Minsk, several of my friends and I started running Shabbat programs for our peers in the local synagogue. While preparing for these programs I learned a lot about Jewish law, Hebrew and Jewish philosophy. A year later, Josh Spinner, who is presently the head of Berlin Yeshiva for boys in Germany, came to Minsk as a representative from YUSSR. I learned more about Judaism from and with him. In the winter of 1997 my family moved to the US. Before I started college I spent a semester at Drisha learning Biblical Hebrew, Bible and Oral Law. I later learned there part-time during their summer programs. At college I learned with a learning partner and tried to go to classes that seemed interesting. During school breaks I participated in learning seminars and ran a Jewish educational camp in Germany for Russian Jewish children whose families moved there. This was also a wonderful learning experience.
*Well-educated intellectually – B.A. in Economics from the University of Pennsylvania, Math-minor. While I really enjoy clear mathematical reasoning I also love literature and poetry (particularly Russian early 20th century) and social sciences – economics, sociology, psychology. I don’t have favorite authors. Writers who influenced my thinking the most are Erich Fromm, Herman Hesse, Dostoyevski, Checkov, Montaigne.
*Overachiever – I could probably use a bit more perfectionism. I like to know the right thing to do and do it well.
*Athletic – I try to run and/or exercise at least a couple of times a week. I like roller-blading, badminton, swimming… I also like casual walks without purpose and without a workout mindset.
*Aspires to be a tzaddikes (righteous individual)– in a very human way. We all try…
*Academic inclinations – It is an aspiration of this potential investor to enhance her intellectual abilities and to develop further her inquisitive faculties in the setting of a Ph.D. program in Economics. I do not know yet what my dissertation will be about. At this point I am interested in microeconomics, most probably industrial organization and/or intellectual property. It may be something along the lines of “Competitive Dynamics, Signaling and Equilibrium Conditions in the Marriage Market: Study of the Jewish Society. ” I plan to apply for the fall of 2003.
I hope this adds some details to my general image.
Luba 🙂
